Last November, I attended the marriage of my cousin who was studying abroad. My cousin, a very pretty girl, was adorned with heavy jewels , which covered her from head to toe (When I said toe I really meant it cos there was even a huge gold anklet and "mettis" , toe-rings ).
But as everyone of us in the family got married the same way, there was nothing new to this.The girl's parents had not forgotten to register her share of the property in her name and this summed up to a very huge amount. The wedding reception was the best one in town, in one of the top star hotels in these parts. The most important thing to be noticed here is that it was NOT an arranged marriage but rather one for which both of them fought to extremes.
It so happened that this week I met my cousin after 4 months, who came along with my aunt and uncle for the sunday service at church. And the story that followed was horrifying. She had broken up with her spouse who had returned to the US.And she was planning to work in the IT company where she was formerly planning to work. Right now, they had agreed on getting a divorce as early as possible.
Though heart-wrenching, this is not just an exceptional case but rather, a normal event happening nowadays. And parents who get their children married are at a loss ...and cannot find solutions to the problems of their wards.
Most people get married believing the myth that marriage is something extremely blissful and heavenly, which contains all the beautiful things they had longed for.... companionship, intimacy, friendship, ....the list is never-ending.
The truth is that "marriage", at the start, is an empty box. We need to put in lots of things... before we can take anything out.
As Allen says..
There is no love in marriage as it is...but rather, love is in those people who get married,
and those people need to put it into the marriage relationship .
There is no romance in marriage as such...but it all depends on the people who infuse it into their marriage.
Marriage is an art which needs to be mastered through giving, loving, serving, praising,forgiving -- and thereby keeping the box full. If you take out more than you put in, the box will soon become empty.
Marriage should be a bond where we are the best of friends...And without friendship blossoming between the two, it gets difficult to forgive, adjust and adapt.
The relationship between partners should be like that of the hand and the eyes...
When the hand gets hurt , the eyes cry...
And when the eye cries, the hand wipes it off...
Only when we understand ourselves , know the other better and feel comfortable with each other can we function independently in a healthy way and thereby function properly within a relationship.
" Two halves do not make a whole...
When it comes to a healthy relationship.... it takes two wholes. " --Patricia Fry
But as everyone of us in the family got married the same way, there was nothing new to this.The girl's parents had not forgotten to register her share of the property in her name and this summed up to a very huge amount. The wedding reception was the best one in town, in one of the top star hotels in these parts. The most important thing to be noticed here is that it was NOT an arranged marriage but rather one for which both of them fought to extremes.It so happened that this week I met my cousin after 4 months, who came along with my aunt and uncle for the sunday service at church. And the story that followed was horrifying. She had broken up with her spouse who had returned to the US.And she was planning to work in the IT company where she was formerly planning to work. Right now, they had agreed on getting a divorce as early as possible.
Though heart-wrenching, this is not just an exceptional case but rather, a normal event happening nowadays. And parents who get their children married are at a loss ...and cannot find solutions to the problems of their wards.
Most people get married believing the myth that marriage is something extremely blissful and heavenly, which contains all the beautiful things they had longed for.... companionship, intimacy, friendship, ....the list is never-ending.
The truth is that "marriage", at the start, is an empty box. We need to put in lots of things... before we can take anything out.
As Allen says..
There is no love in marriage as it is...but rather, love is in those people who get married,
and those people need to put it into the marriage relationship .
There is no romance in marriage as such...but it all depends on the people who infuse it into their marriage.
Marriage is an art which needs to be mastered through giving, loving, serving, praising,forgiving -- and thereby keeping the box full. If you take out more than you put in, the box will soon become empty.
Marriage should be a bond where we are the best of friends...And without friendship blossoming between the two, it gets difficult to forgive, adjust and adapt.
The relationship between partners should be like that of the hand and the eyes...
When the hand gets hurt , the eyes cry...
And when the eye cries, the hand wipes it off...
Only when we understand ourselves , know the other better and feel comfortable with each other can we function independently in a healthy way and thereby function properly within a relationship.
" Two halves do not make a whole...
When it comes to a healthy relationship.... it takes two wholes. " --Patricia Fry
