Why I call myself a bad blogger !

I have had such a long week and the last thing I want to do is… be serious right now !! 

So…I thought I could make fun of myself… for just being a bad blogger...

But you would imagine....when there are lots of crap going around in this world, why on earth should I write about me and my bad blogging ? Sometimes even I feel I am getting sick of the juvenile lay-out of my blog…

 

And most of the times I do get lazy…After having sat for hours downloading stuff on microRNAs and knockout genes which make my brains shout  back at me...I would nt even feel like raising my little finger ..Forget about blogging …ooh...

But you know… Sometimes I really do get wonderful ideas which I feel like blogging on…some of them are very clever and keep me musing on it. I would feel I am exceptional to get such great ideas !! But when the time comes for me to blog, whatever I decided to post, would look like crap!!!

Then I sit and think over the issue …

Well...To be honest, I sometimes feel that blogs are a kind of shameless self promotion.. And I suppose I too am doing that shamelessly..right ? Ha ha !!

Well..here i want you to understand that I loathe being a white noise amongst lots of other white noises. But still … I don’t want to opt out of it  . I have many points to refute this whereas many reasons to have a blog!! I suppose I am becoming a parasite ? Let me think again???  Okay, not really !!! 

Any way…Now that I have started writing this….Here comes my next big problem…I need a catchy name for this post.

Do you see the point?  This whole thing is just like me being in school again ..not that I am trying to be the best or am trying to come out with juicy blogs to please everyone..

But still…Let me be frank…I sometimes feel like I am trying to carve a niche for myself on the web …now that I have started relating to a few of my butterfly followers , out there , who are always ready to bear with all the holy stuff I write …and many others who could be silently suffering … Its big deal anyway!!

Don’t you think it is ? 

But then i know blogging also involves emotional involvement like any other human interaction.  We feel good when people respond to us and sometimes feel like losers when they dont.

But anyhow.. we need to connect with all those people who love us.  And if you think about it that way, you would certainly feel happy to take that extra time for them. 

Couldn’t hurt, right ????


 

JennyPadua,Nagercoil,TamilNadu,India,JeniPadua
JennyPadua,Nagercoil,TamilNadu,India,JeniPadua

Birthdays can change the world !! So do birthday gifts !!

I just came across this video which really impressed me. For a long time I had been confused about this issue of birthday gifts...  But this innovative and meaningful birthday gifting gives new meaning to the word "Birthday Gift ".

Something which was started by Scott Harison in September 2008 still goes on ... This is not something meant only for celebrities ....
This could be possible to everyone of us...if we can join hands and work towards it ..


To view this video click on the link below :
http://vimeo.com/1552996

http://vimeo.com/1552996


This awe-inspiring video gives an idea of how a birthday initiative by Scott Harrison became the non-profit “charity: water” which brings clean, safe drinking water to people in developing nations. Many of the good hearts involved in this project gave up their birthday celebrations to give it as a gift to those people who really need…

Well...It feels great to work for a good cause !!!

JennyPadua,Nagercoil,TamilNadu,India,JeniPadua

The more people I meet...The more I respect Dogs!!

One of my favorite hobbies is observing people. When I attend parties, the funniest thing I notice is how people behave. The animated gossip of women...the obnoxious backbites...the crazy arguments men have …and how violent they get about it…But the more people I come across in life…the more I seem to respect dogs…because…they seem to deserve more respect than human beings in many ways…

Dogs are forms of unconditional love. They live for their master and are extremely loyal and truthful about it. unlike us humans, forgive and forget bad stuff. They don’t complain and silently bear with us. They'll never forsake their friends. They love you so much that they would follow you to the worlds end .

Dogs are never ashamed to own up their friends however filthy they look. They don’t argue on trivial nonsense or behave like obnoxious know-it-alls. They never give ludicrous excuses and absurd rationalizations for being rude...They don’t make sarcastic remarks and don’t take advantage of friendship .

Dogs miss you so much when you are not there. And dogs never laugh at you when you go wrong. They don’t expect you to wait on them. They are not egoistic. They dont look down upon your intelligence. Dogs don’t kill people emotionally…..

Dogs don’t mind if you take the lead. Dogs understand your instincts . Dogs don’t want to know your history or how rich you are. Dogs are not ashamed to admit when they are lost. Dogs don’t complain.

Dogs are real good friends ....and they'll never want to say... this was'nt friendship...nor was it love , I was just infatuated.. They know only to love, love, and love more…If only a dog could talk…

Dedicated to Duke, my lovely German Shepherd..... And Rocky the wonderful Alsatian who loved us  all unconditionally.....…

JennyPadua,Nagercoil,TamilNadu,India,JeniPadua

Gunshot from Heaven..

 


When the early morning phone call woke me up, I was groping in the dark trying to find my mobile phone. The pink device had slipped out of my hands while I slumbered into deep sleep… Ronan Keating's   song “You say it best when you say nothing at all “ came floating from my mobile phone ...It was my favourite song and I had set it as my ring tone... but now it sounded eerie along with the light which flickered from the device !!


The frantic sound of my friend could be heard on the other end….Jess is very sick !! Could you talk to her now ? She wants to speak to you ! I fumbled in the dark , trying to get to Jess as soon as I could..Jess was in the hospital. They had found cancer.  It was in the worst stage.  I could hear sobs at the other end. She was one of my real good friends..


I tried best to console her but pretty much failed as miserably as I could. Even as I tried to be encouraging, I could find myself whimpering. The words that came out of my rambling mouth were not the least adequate. I knew that this could never be made alright.


Well.. It was the worst thing to happen to a 29 year old..
The least I could do was to ask her to call me anytime, if she needed to vent and get it all out .  I was not sure how much that could have helped Jess, but I heard myself telling her.... I’ll be there for you, in case you need me....


The whole situation was pathetic….unfair.  And there was nothing anyone could do....


I really do wonder why all this happens to people. And it gets too difficult when it is someone whom you really love.  Jess was a very sweet person who had every right to enjoy life like all of us... She was a wife who was the world to her partner …a mother without whom her 8 year old girl could never survive...This should be the very best years of a woman’s life. And she was going to lose everything.....


And finally, the gun shots came in …out of nowhere....Without warning… Hitting harder than anything that had ever hit before....


Jess passed away … it was all too bad …..So unreal..…


We dont understand how much someone means to us until we lose them. I don’t even know if I had really expressed enough to tell Jess how much I cared for her..How much she meant to me…


I keep wondering ... why we dont care to express how much we feel for our family, friends... everyone whom we care  …who they are in our life... I dont know if we really tell them we do love them all so very much...  Tell them we appreciate all that they do for us and how much they mean to us ...Thank them enough for everything that they are in our life....I suppose it is alright even if we are annoying them about it,


But really... We have no idea when the gun shots would come from heaven !!
 




JennyPadua,Nagercoil,TamilNadu,India,JeniPadua

My friend gave birth to me !!

Growing up in a highly orthodox setup, I was disciplined to keep distance with everyone and also to keep up my dignity. I was trained well to be haughty and arrogant and it was a sin if I had a chat with the maid. Well. Let me tell you...I was Daddy’s darling, Mamma’s pet and the Family Icon...!

 

When I was in my ninth grade, special care was taken to delicately tuck me into a car at 9 am with the driver and one of my uncles sitting in front... With me peeping out the window to look at a world which always sped away from me at 60 km / hr.

I loved boogie dancing and was too good at it... But Lo!! My grandpa did not. …But I loved my grandpa...And he was more important to me than dancing…So I danced behind the tightly closed doors of my room.

My teachers were good friends of my family . And so…I accidently came up first in all the competitions I went for…That was injustice to my really talented friends…I loved my friends ….So I said Goodbye to competitions…My friends were more important to me than me winning competitions.

I loved singing...but my granny felt  it was nt apt for children from good families to shout like buffaloes at home....So I restricted my singing to the Soprano classes I had once a week …I loved granny so much and she was more important to me than singing…

I loved sports and was pretty good at it too …but my family didn’t want those rowdies cheering at their little darling..…I let go of sports cos I loved my family….My family was more important to me than sports.

I liked to go to the beach. Little boys and girls played in the beach sand while I sat on the big  cloth spread out for me so that my lovely satin dress would not get spoiled. I would have given everything I had…..just to play in the sand…just to make a sand castle…. Just to squish the sand once with my bare foot.  But of course … I was assured that those children playing on the beach were not as lucky as me!!!

Finally…I loved loneliness … and no one seemed to take it away from me!! I was happy I had lots of freedom in my room …and no one to break the silence…..

I sailed on this way for a long time ....when I had the honor and privilege of meeting one precious person who became a beacon of light for me and I started seeking his help every step of the way.

Caterpillar that I was , afraid of light even...always in my cocoon ...this person worked wonders through his advices....He taught me to think !! To fight for existence !! I think I need to say a few words about this wayfarer...


This loner never knew to smile ..He never was kind to unfaithfullness and pretense....was not all that loving to ignorance .....He was kind of a fighting bull.....fighting against injustice, fighting against  what ever he felt was wrong, losing his temper at the slightest note of distaste.....His strong personality and individuality inspired me....to be like him....I never had fought with anyone and he knew he had to shake me out of my cocoon and wouldnt have minded bursting it open to get me out of it !

And finally one day I burst my cocoon to pieces and came out , a wonderful butterfly...I knew I could fly high without anyone to help me ..I knew  I could travel far cos I found the hidden strength within me...

I have been doing lots since then... all on my own... I let go of my prejudices..my fears...my superstitions...I emerged into a completely different person whom everyone could look up to... In fact he gave birth to me ...The  real new me who did not live "only" for others but also for me !!

Everyone was surprised at the change in me...The shy person who could not  once drive around alone in my car had come out as an independent Iron butterfly  who could address masses and drove around for miles on social issues not fearing my ties !!! In fact I love my freedom so much now and people respect me for my individuality....... I feel I am born again !

And I dedicate this to my friend who gave birth to me... Who helped me find the real me !

JennyPadua,Nagercoil,TamilNadu,India,JeniPadua

Returns come the other way !!

Until recently, like many others I too used to think I never did expect anything in return for what I did.
Well...I used to tell myself I was perfect. I felt proud I had the natural goodness in me which made me love and serve everyone unconditionally . But recently  I started feeling  that I was totally wrong.






I was only thinking  of all the monetary help I had done for others for which I hadn’t expected returns.
And never once did I  think about how much I was expecting returns from everyone " emotionally".

I suppose I was doing good ...because I wanted God to bless me...So had'nt I expected something in return for my deeds ?

I kept showering love on others and did things to make them happy . But was'nt it because i wanted them to love me in return? Again , I had expected returns ?

Well... When I start thinking this way I feel quite uneasy.  ...But most of us do this ...dont we ? And maybe, we all have trouble only because we expect returns to come from the same person. Well.. I suppose it usually doesn’t work that way? 

Sometimes it even comes in the form of the "happiness" we get when we make someone happy?? I ve felt this kind of unusual happiness  many times when I give gifts to people ...

well...again this is another one big confusion I have...i still dont know if it is alright  to give gifts to people ? And I still dont know if  they really feel happy getting those gifts ? oopss ...I am going off my track right now .. I suppose i'll write about this later !!

Well....They say ... 
What you withhold will be withheld from you.

If you expect love ... give love.
If you expect people to understand you... Try to understand them …
If you expect people to appreciate you ... show your appreciation for them.
If you want help, lend a helping hand....blah blah blah !!!

But I am sure it is not that simple???

We are not throwing a boomerang everytime we do something good for others ...to expect it to return back to us just like that ? I suppose returns dont come back from the same direction  ...

Could be that they come the other way !!! HA HA ...

JennyPadua,Nagercoil,TamilNadu,India,JeniPadua

Memory Loss ... The Gift of God !!

I am sure people would think I am crazy when i start off like this .. Well..I really dont mind...This blog gives me a lot of happiness . Its something like I am talking to myself or is it to somebody else ? My conscience.. may be ?
 Well..One of my friends suggested Journal writing. I suppose this is it? Writing down all your thoughts..

I thought I was the only one in the world who feels this way. But was happy to read from other blogs, that there exists a few extremes like me around the world.. who keep on blogging  just because they feel happy they blog. and that is one reason why I keep my blogs private. Oops ! I left out what i really wanted to write..





People often complain they keep forgetting things as they grow old. But just now this thought crossed my mind. Is'nt memory loss one of God's blesings ? People are subjected to misery and suffering which would never let them live in peace during the rest of their life. There would be thousands of people in their life who would have hurt them to such an extent that they would never ever want to meet them again as long as they live . But as days go by these incidents get erased from their mind so that only a mild trace of it is left or sometimes get deleted from their memory...

Old people would have to carry tonnes of such ill feelings if only God hadnt blessed them with memory loss. As they forget almost 60% of everything  bad that happened to them that helps them to forgive and love others. This makes them equivalent to children.
I suppose that is why old people are compared to children ?????
  
Dont you now agree that memory loss is a blessing ? Especially during old age ? 

JennyPadua,Nagercoil,TamilNadu,India,JeniPadua

My Grandmother did'nt go to school !

My granny was a mountain of strength. Though she did not got to school, she was the most literate . Everyone in the family turned to her for advice. She was the coolest woman I have ever come across in life. The relationship I had shared with her can never be explained.

Once I lost my gold ring studded with a big garnet and of course like in the movies, the culprit was assumed to be the servant and it was suggested that she be searched...At that time my grandmother stopped us from this and told us a beautiful story which comes to my mind even now when i come across such situations......

" There was a mother dove who had 5 daughter doves.





One day the mother dove went out asking the youngest daughter to fry a bottle of peas. When she returned she found half the bottle of fried peas missing. She was furious at the little dove whom she thought had devoured the peas. She flew upto the little one and furiously pecked her on and on until finally the little dove fainted and was dead. After a few days the mother dove had another bottle of peas to fry. She found to her surprise that the peas on frying had shrunk and only half the bottle of peas were left. She could not bear her sorrow. She started crying and hitting her head against the tree and was finally dead". 


 


At that time, this story was meant for us children. But I would rather suggest this for grownups. Because we are the ones who make this mistake often..Many a time we mistake and misunderstand people for what they havent done and talk against them. I suppose it is not just women who gossip ...I have seen men gossip too...and of course backbiting toooo.... 

DONT WE JUDGE PEOPLE FOR WHAT THEY ARE NOT......AND GO ON PECKING AT THEM ....
UNTIL WE KILL THEM EMOTIONALLY ? ? ?

Does this strike a cord somewhere ???? Well ....It really hurts !  

But here  I would like to defend the mother dove too..It was'nt because the mother dove did not love her little one...She was blinded by anger and didnt know what she did...Whereas the little dove didnot even know why the mother dove pecked and killed her !!

Sorry to say that the ring is still with me ...We found it under my dressing table !!!


JennyPadua,Nagercoil,TamilNadu,India,JeniPadua

Emotionally mature newborns?

What I write is something very personal.

And the views that I share here is what I feel and I mean what I write...

This time i need to write about something I feel is quite a mystery .

The birth of a baby has always intrigued me. Until the baby remains inside the womb,

he breathes and is being fed through the cord which connects him to his mother. He swims about in a fluid medium where the fluid goes into his nostrils and mouth. He doesnt cry or fret that its dark inside. He doesnt complain even when it is cold and he is lonely. He lives the life of a sage.The moment the cord is cut, the baby becomes an independent and intelligent person who knows to adapt to the new environment he is placed in.

He suddenly knows to use his nose for breathing and also to smell. He uses his mouth to feed and also to cry and smile at everyone. The baby who was living in a fluid medium inside the womb, suddenly knows to live in a gaseous medium.

He knows he can open his eyes to wink away the dust and light and also to view and enjoy Gods creations. He uses his little fingers to touch, to feel ,to hold on to his mother. He also knows he can use his legs to kick away things which come his way.

He knows to cry when he is hungry or is in pain and also to smile when he is happy and content.

 

The reason why I drag on is to get to the point that the baby who is zero hours old is intelligent enough to  adapt to strange situations in a matter of minutes. 

What confuses me is the same baby when is undergoing the process of growing up , cannot adapt emotionally. Even when he comes to a ripe age, say 80 yrs, when a man says he is experienced, still he wouldn’t know how to react to people and circumstances in the right way, loses his temper, gets hurt, withdraws into himself, or becomes hyperactive, becomes an introvert or an extrovert and many are worse than mad men. Don’t you think this is odd?

We say life is a process of continous learning . But what exactly do we learn if we would not learn to control our emotions even ? Well....I personally find this a controversy .

Is it because the body is more adaptable than our mind ? or  because the mind is weaker than our body ? When the body can adapt efficiently at zero years , even to the worst conditions but still the mind refuses to adapt to the minutest difficulty even at old age, don’t you  wonder why ? Do we control emotions or emotions control us ? They say " Anger and Love are the spice of life" But its always too much anger and a lot less of love.

So i feel it is unconditional love that gets lost when we grow older ? the baby knows only to love and he has not a pinch of selfishness in him. so his mind and body can adapt to people and situations ? but  men cannot because they become selfish and crave for materialistic and monetary benefits which make them unadaptable and unacceptable ?  

If the new born baby could speak he would have told us how he felt when he was inside the mothers womb . He would have told us how he feels outside ... BABY'S FIRST DAY OUT ???

I feel its because we cant adjust and adapt because  "we wont " because "we dont want to" ???

Well....Strange ????

Personally,  I feel I have a lot of "IF's"  ...

If everyone could smile at the worst situations…

If everyone could laugh off an argument which hurts…

If everyone could smile at somebody’s mistakes without jesting..

If everyone could withhold false interpretations..

If people could change their temperament …

If people could learn to stop backbiting..

If people could love unconditionally..

If people would stop hurting others …

DON’T YOU THINK THE WORLD WOULD HAVE BEEN A BETTER PLACE

IF ONLY WE COULD………

JennyPadua,Nagercoil,TamilNadu,India,JeniPadua

I saw a woman abuse her child !!

Here goes todays butterfly story..... ...

Yesterday I was at a party which i  really loathed ...but still couldnt find an excuse to stop from going.. And i had the rare opportunity to meet a lady about 6 months pregnant who was smoking and puffing away like a steam engine.



I was really confused because there are nt many female smokers i know about, in these parts. But something told me from within that it was only right to advice her on how dangerous this is for the unborn baby.

But the response was an angry stare which said 
"Mind your business ! I know whats good for my baby !!"
and the woman went on puffing away in spite of snide remarks from others.

Child abuse comes in various shapes which are familiar to us. But this is a kind of abuse which cannot be seen by people at that level.
To me, pregnant mothers smoking is truly a form of child abuse though it does not fall within the normal guidelines .






When fashion and civilisation goes up, there is also evil attached to it.
Smoking mothers do injustice to their little babies .The birth weight of babies born to smoking mothers are found to be very low . The babys growth is stunted leading to lifelong  complications. These children are  vulnerable to asthma, and have a much higher risk of sudden infant death, learning disorders, behavioral problems, and relatively low IQs.


When almost everyone is aware of the risk associated to pregnant smoking , Why do they deliberately take to smoking ?

 Is it selfish pleasure ? Or dont they love their baby? But i dont think any mom would hate her baby !
or is it because they do love their baby but still love themselves more so that they cannot sacrifice even a little pleasure for the sake of the little one ?  Is it because the mother gives priority to her preferences ?

is'nt this CHILD ABUSE? WAS'NT THAT MOTHER ABUSING HER CHILD ???

Well it hurts me...I dont know how other butterflies feel !!


JennyPadua,Nagercoil,TamilNadu,India,JeniPadua