Do we have the “right to follow our dream “ ??

I often wonder why people talk a lot about themselves …or at least about their kids ..their achievements…and the wildest part of the whole stuff is that …they go on ringing like an old haphazard bell ringing on top of the fire engine. . They just puff and pant and make all animations ..3d and 2d as well..and get the life out of you by the time they have explained about how their kid won the last Olympics (they would nt have gone to the neighbours backyard tournament even).

But children are the silent sufferers  who are subjected to such torments by their parents..i once heard a parent say..”oh you know my girl won the gold medal in the national level badminton”…. But the child  kept on interrupting “Oh no Mama…i came only third” and the mother says …” Oh come on, you forgot,  ..you came first , child”…But the child would nt stop at that …and then there is this mother winking and making all funny expressions which make the guests writhe in an unpleasant ambiance…Well it is not funny…is it ? 

Well, for those who think of this as funny, it could be quite a passing affair of bragging ..but to think on it deeply, why..what motivated the mother to say this ? Is nt it her inferiority complex that is lifting up at times. Is nt it because they feel people do not think good of them that they go on behaving like that in the false hope that their image is just boosted up by thus boasting …and finally end up damaging their  torn image still more ? In short.. …is nt it bcos they don’t think good about themselves ?? …I think such people have to get to the bottom of the problem and find out what’s worrying them in order to overcome such problems..

What I ve always felt is that …it is we , the parents who are the catalysts who drive our kids into a life of false and boisterous behaviour which starts driving them mad as the net of lies and brags which they weave around them .. …entangles them up and makes them sleepless..

There is this other category of people who just want their kids to be smarter and smarter and smarter..so that they ll never let them live in peace. They want their children to fulfill their dreams and not the dreams of their children to be fulfilled (as if the kid was ever allowed to have a d ream??)

well you see, the child loses a major chunk of its childhood and because of its love for his mama or papa he goes on striving harder and harder to achieve the goals of the mother and finally one day the child comes to a point when she says…”I QUIT” .

And that is the time when he lets the mother understand , that till now he has been wearing a mask on which was written “I AM HAPPY” and now he   says

“ I HAVE BEEN FAKING AND I DID IT VERY WELL TO KEEP YOU HAPPY UNTIL NOW…

BUT NOW  THAT I HAVE GIVEN YOU A PIECE OF MY MIND “ I AM REALLY ..HAPPY”.

Parents need to understand that everytime we praise our kids saying” oh he comes first in which ever sport he enters.., we are just forcing it on him” and by the way..whats so great about coming first?? Its quite right even if you do it silently for the fun of it…and then do it just great?? I cannot say for sure if you guys agree..but this is what iv e always felt…

What is once our dream is being forced on the child and repeated again and again so that the child is forced to imagine that this is what “his” dream is... We say we are doing good but  what we really are doing,  is silently killing our childrens’ emotions, by making them run after “our “ dreams instead of  endowing them the right to follow “ their”  dreams.  

12.12.12.12.12.12...wowwww we are lucky !!

Are Marriages still made in Heaven ???

Last November, I attended the marriage of my cousin who was studying abroad. My cousin, a very pretty girl, was adorned with heavy jewels , which covered her from head to toe (When I said toe I really meant it cos there was even a huge gold anklet and "mettis" ,  toe-rings ).

But as everyone of us in the family got married the same way, there was nothing new to this.The girl's parents had not forgotten to register her share of the property in her name and this summed up to a very huge amount. The wedding reception was the best one in town, in one of the top star hotels in these parts. The most important thing to be noticed here is that it was NOT an arranged marriage but rather one for which both of them fought to extremes.
 It so happened that this week I met my cousin after 4 months, who came along with my aunt and uncle for the sunday service at church. And the story that followed was horrifying. She had broken up with her spouse who had returned to the US.And she was planning to work in the IT company where she was  formerly planning to work. Right now, they had agreed on getting a divorce as early as possible.

Though heart-wrenching, this is not just an exceptional case but rather, a normal event happening nowadays. And parents who get their children married are at a loss ...and cannot find solutions to the problems of their wards.

Most people get married believing the myth that marriage is something extremely blissful and heavenly, which contains all the beautiful things they had longed for.... companionship, intimacy, friendship, ....the list is never-ending.
The truth is that "marriage", at the start, is an empty box. We need to put in lots of things... before we can take anything out.

As Allen says.. 
There is no love in marriage as it is...but rather,  love is in those people who get married,
and those people need to put it into the marriage relationship .

There is no romance in marriage as such...but it all depends on the people who infuse it into their marriage. 

Marriage is an art which needs to be mastered through giving, loving, serving, praising,forgiving -- and thereby keeping the box full. If you take out more than you put in, the box will soon become empty.

 Marriage should be a bond where we are the best of friends...And without friendship blossoming between the two, it gets difficult to forgive, adjust and adapt.

The relationship between partners should be like that of the hand and the eyes...
When the hand gets hurt , the eyes cry...
And when the eye cries, the hand wipes it off...



Only when we understand ourselves , know the other better and feel comfortable with each other can we function independently in a healthy way and thereby function properly within a relationship.

"  Two halves do not make a whole...
   When it comes to a healthy relationship....   it takes two wholes. "       --Patricia Fry

Are'nt we Animals ?

  Tsunami has really shattered a part of the planet ... and has wounded the hearts of many of us who are constantly watching for news updates on Japan, Hawaii and the like...
But it is really painful and disheartening to see a big mass of us cheering like mad men in a cricket ground and before the televisions …when lots of our brothers and sisters are shedding tears…have lost their dear ones … and are shelter less …Crying ...with no one to wipe their tears ? Think of their fears and insecurities …The future of the children who have become orphans in a few seconds…Just think of the radioactivity which is going to cripple them for many years to come or maybe even kill many of them .. !!! Why don’t we, for a moment, THINK !!  What if our children were to starve one fine day and be left on the roads without food and nobody to take care of them ? What if it was India instead of Japan ?
Are’nt we behaving like animals ? Why don’t we for once , become HUMAN BEINGS who really care for our brethren … instead of behaving like a group of Hippocrites !! It really really hurts a lot !!

" I think you are wonderful !! "

I thought I should tell about a story which captured my heart and which also made me think for a while.

A celebrity singer was contracted to sing at a show where lots of important dignitaries were expected to gather.. The night of the concert found the hall packed and anticipation and excitement was in the air as the house manager took the stage and said, "Ladies and gentlemen, thank you being here.But,I am afraid that due to illness, the great celebrity whom you've all come to hear will not be performing tonight. However, we have found a suitable substitute who will provide you with comparable entertainment. The crowd groaned in disappointment and failed to hear the announcer mention the stand-in's name. The environment turned from excitement to frustration. The stand-in performer did the very best he could..and it was extremely wonderful. But, when he had finished, there was nothing but an uncomfortable silence. No one applauded.

But, from the balcony, a little boy stood up and shouted, "That was wonderfull Daddyyyyyy!!! " and he began to clap.And suddenly. the crowd broke into thunderous applause and cheers.
 This sudden turn in the attitude of the crowd , is something which needs to be reflected on....
 

We all need people in our lives who need to stand up once in a while and say " I think you are wonderful", and that too with an open heart.... full of appreciation.
And at times others are expecting this from us...
But are we telling them how wonderful they are?

Tsunami sings !!

This post is about a mischievous little guy ... Johnny . For those who have not met  this little tsunami...He is ... was and will be found everywhere around  ..climbing on, swinging from, running around or jumping to. He is an Angel , always with dirt on his face ...And however hard I try to wash and relieve him of all obvious confections , he tends to be sticky, always !! 

He is a beauty , always with a cut on his finger. He is the core of wisdom .. poor me !! ...always fighting to get the bubble gum stuck on his hair. He can transform into anything... from plumber to mason ...found always with a hammer or a spanner in his pocket .He is always around ...helping me ..pulling out my anthuriums .. overwhelmed by this sudden non-stop desire to go digging for hidden treasure .Such a lovely doll who would easily turn two people into complete idiots. He is a magical creature ...The lazy blogger "Little Rumble " who takes pleasure in bragging about his blog which he never ever updated since the day he started  blogging !! 

And like Alan Beck says....I can easily lock him out of my kitchen, but never out of my heart. ...He is a fun-loving, naughty, cat-chasing bundle of noise. But even when I come back home with a heavy heart, he can mend it magically with his smile and his big bear hug ! That's my Johnny..The adorable singer who could sing even before he could talk !!

And guys..Here is a song he sang from Rihanna..which I uploaded on youtube a year back ..Hope you guys enjoy it !!

First impression is in the eyes of the beholder !!

Something that has always fascinated me is the quote "  "First impression is the best" coz I keep wondering as to which part of that "debut performance" really counts !! If it is just "looks" that are judged first, I am unsure as to how the blind judge us ? Could be with our sounds and intonations ? If so , what impression would you make to the deaf ? Just curious !!

 If ..according to physics "light travels faster than sound" , then our first impressions should be linked to sight and not speech ? Well.. that's what I ve felt .And maybe that is why we feel some people are bright until we hear them speak !! 

 I also believe that, people who are unable to do speak their mind ,could possibly have nothing in their mind to begin with. Well, I've felt the same with people who do not listen. I am sure no one will be able to speak when he doesn’t listen what he hears.
Judging people from first impressions is quite simple. Like for instance, imagine you have just met a person and someone asks you , what you think of that person .Well..he can force a story out of you, and I am sure you’d succeed in telling a beautiful one, despite it being entirely out of guesswork. So from all this, let me conclude ....

 Though, in one way, it is not wrong to pass judgment from first impressions.... it still is wrong in another way...cos it doesn't really work that way. In fact, you really cant do it !! Cos what we see, is only our imagination. And so let me conclude that "First impression- is in the eyes of the beholder". Hope you guys agree!!

Long for Longing !!

This happens to me often nowadays...I feel I am worried ...but I really wouldnt know why I feel that way...cos I would know for sure that there is nothing whatsoever to bother my smooth sail...its something at the back of my mind that keeps itching....Even when I try to find out what it is , I fail miserably..........
I suppose I  worry about things that never were, and that's the worrying part. There is nothing bothering me and that's exactly what's bothering me. Coming to think of it, I'm bothered by nothing.

When it comes to my anxiety about life, what worries me most is not the destination but ...the journey . And I feel its getting twisted as I keep moving on...
 But see...I feel  I am short of something...Well , you know, I long for nothing , in fact , being  human I feel I should change myself and start longing for something, So now what I want most is to "long for something". Wanting to have this feeling of longing so much, I have come to the conclusion that  I am longing for the feeling of longing. So my problem is I long for longing ? HA HA..Guys ..Hope you have'nt gone nuts !!!!
 You see, When I started to write this post, I "wanted to long" for something and now as I conclude, I "long for the feeling of longing", I suppose I really don't have an issue. But then again, isn't this really an issue ?


Now coming to think of this...Guys !! Don't you feel that the above said lines are a bit twisted ? I mean , not very simple ? Well..You know ...Things were simple when the creator created his creations. And I suppose we guys just did a few simple things like eating, sleeping, walking, etc at that time ?

But then....different individuals had the longing to show they were different and so they mixed the above actions, grated them ,crushed , mashed and kneaded them,  to make new actions...and of course ...thereby complicating them...!!!
God !! I wonder why I wanted to blog on something I really cannot identify.  I feel blogging is an escapism for people like me who want a little bit of privacy while going public. So...We all want to be private publicly. Well...I suppose we are all crazy. A pack of  crazy guys !!! Well....That's what makes us normal again !! Ha Ha !!