My friend gave birth to me !!

Growing up in a highly orthodox setup, I was disciplined to keep distance with everyone and also to keep up my dignity. I was trained well to be haughty and arrogant and it was a sin if I had a chat with the maid. Well. Let me tell you...I was Daddy’s darling, Mamma’s pet and the Family Icon...!

 

When I was in my ninth grade, special care was taken to delicately tuck me into a car at 9 am with the driver and one of my uncles sitting in front... With me peeping out the window to look at a world which always sped away from me at 60 km / hr.

I loved boogie dancing and was too good at it... But Lo!! My grandpa did not. …But I loved my grandpa...And he was more important to me than dancing…So I danced behind the tightly closed doors of my room.

My teachers were good friends of my family . And so…I accidently came up first in all the competitions I went for…That was injustice to my really talented friends…I loved my friends ….So I said Goodbye to competitions…My friends were more important to me than me winning competitions.

I loved singing...but my granny felt  it was nt apt for children from good families to shout like buffaloes at home....So I restricted my singing to the Soprano classes I had once a week …I loved granny so much and she was more important to me than singing…

I loved sports and was pretty good at it too …but my family didn’t want those rowdies cheering at their little darling..…I let go of sports cos I loved my family….My family was more important to me than sports.

I liked to go to the beach. Little boys and girls played in the beach sand while I sat on the big  cloth spread out for me so that my lovely satin dress would not get spoiled. I would have given everything I had…..just to play in the sand…just to make a sand castle…. Just to squish the sand once with my bare foot.  But of course … I was assured that those children playing on the beach were not as lucky as me!!!

Finally…I loved loneliness … and no one seemed to take it away from me!! I was happy I had lots of freedom in my room …and no one to break the silence…..

I sailed on this way for a long time ....when I had the honor and privilege of meeting one precious person who became a beacon of light for me and I started seeking his help every step of the way.

Caterpillar that I was , afraid of light even...always in my cocoon ...this person worked wonders through his advices....He taught me to think !! To fight for existence !! I think I need to say a few words about this wayfarer...


This loner never knew to smile ..He never was kind to unfaithfullness and pretense....was not all that loving to ignorance .....He was kind of a fighting bull.....fighting against injustice, fighting against  what ever he felt was wrong, losing his temper at the slightest note of distaste.....His strong personality and individuality inspired me....to be like him....I never had fought with anyone and he knew he had to shake me out of my cocoon and wouldnt have minded bursting it open to get me out of it !

And finally one day I burst my cocoon to pieces and came out , a wonderful butterfly...I knew I could fly high without anyone to help me ..I knew  I could travel far cos I found the hidden strength within me...

I have been doing lots since then... all on my own... I let go of my prejudices..my fears...my superstitions...I emerged into a completely different person whom everyone could look up to... In fact he gave birth to me ...The  real new me who did not live "only" for others but also for me !!

Everyone was surprised at the change in me...The shy person who could not  once drive around alone in my car had come out as an independent Iron butterfly  who could address masses and drove around for miles on social issues not fearing my ties !!! In fact I love my freedom so much now and people respect me for my individuality....... I feel I am born again !

And I dedicate this to my friend who gave birth to me... Who helped me find the real me !

JennyPadua,Nagercoil,TamilNadu,India,JeniPadua